Friendship of Desire (Painful Deliverance Book 3) Read online

  "Come on, you. I know your enthusiasm for pancakes."

  ~~~~~

  For the remaining six months from then till the end of their schooling, Tom revelled in having her back in his life as his friend. Constantly he was teased about it - as he was sure she must be also - but he didn't care, and considered he had grown into somewhat of an expert at throwing quips back at his friends when they teased him.

  "Come on, how can you not see what a hottie she is?" John especially would throw at him fairly regularly.

  In those instances Tom would grab John around the neck and playfully rub his hair as he held him in a vice like grip.

  "Retract that, my friend!"

  "Okay, okay. I retract - retract!!" he laughed and Tom let him go, both of them smiling.

  "Good boy," Tom would say, laughing.

  ~~~~~

  "Tomorrow is our last day at school forever," Samantha said to him as they sat on his bed the night before their high school education would come to an end.

  "I know. And I still don't know what I want to do with my life!" he answered, making her laugh softly.

  "Well at least you have the job at the supermarket."

  Tom groaned.

  "Not quite my dream job," he said and assembled thoughts in his head. "The problem is I don't know what my dream job is. What am I supposed to be doing? Which direction should I be moving in? I just … don't … know," he followed up, accentuating each of the last three words with banging his knuckles on his forehead.

  He felt Samantha's hand come out to touch him on his arm.

  "Tom, don't worry so much. You have a job and you do enjoy it, don't you?" she asked and saw him nod.

  "I do. The people are great there, and I quite like interacting with the customers…"

  "Well there you go then. Why would you wish for something bigger and better when you are perfectly happy where you are?"

  "Because I should be working toward something bigger and better?"

  She laughed at him.

  "You are so silly sometimes. Just enjoy it. If you can get enough shifts to live off, why would you look for anything else?"

  "Hmm … maybe you are right. But what about you, though? Have you decided if you want to go to college or get a job?"

  Samantha shook her head and smiled sadly at him.

  "I'm not as academic as you, Tom, as you well know. I want to study dressmaking but I don't know if my grades will get me in…"

  "Of course they will. You haven't failed anything, right?"

  "Hmm, I know. Anyway, I did put the application in so I should be hearing from that school any day now. Fingers crossed," she said, holding up her crossed fingers to his view.

  Tom looked at her face. His feelings had levelled out, he realised, after a period of time when they had resumed their friendship, and he had worried his feelings were going in a direction he did not want them to. But now as he looked at her, he could see and appreciate her just as a friend. That was how it was meant to be, and having had so much time without their closeness, he could only seize it and make sure he didn't suffocate it.

  "Scott asked me out today," Samantha said quietly, lowering her eyes in concern of what Tom would think.

  "Scott from school? Scott … Carpa? " he asked and saw her nod. "Oh."

  "What do you think of him, Tom?"

  Tom took a minute to consider his answer, before speaking.

  "He seems okay to me - I've never had any problem with him and I haven't heard of anyone else having a problem with him," he said and paused. "But surely it is what you think of him that counts, right?"

  Samantha looked at him, thoughtful.

  "I wasn't such a good judge of character with Paul…"

  "Well Paul was just an utter asshole, excuse my French. And don't forget you were only 16 when you started seeing him. You are far more mature and worldly now…"

  "Worldly?" she asked as she burst out laughing, making him smile. "Oh Tom! You do make me laugh sometimes." For a moment she was silent. "I don't think I can call myself worldly - I am an 18 year old virgin!"

  "As am I! Are you saying that you don't think that I am worldly?!" he asked, teasing her. "Think carefully before you answer, Samantha Young!"

  She laughed at him again, before giving him a mock low bow.

  "Oh yes, of course Master Tom, oh worldly master."

  "Should I say yes?" she asked when she became serious again, and he was uncertain by then what she was referring to, as she could see by the confused look on his face. "To Scott."

  "Oh, you need to decide that - why would you ask me that?" he asked gently, unsure of what she wanted him to say.

  "I value your opinion."

  "Hmm. Well I have nothing against the guy so if you are wanting me to say he is a creep so you can avoid going on a date with him, sorry but I can't do that."

  Samantha let out a deep sigh. She didn't know if she really wanted to date anyone or not.

  "Why do you still not date anyone, Tom? Don't you get … lonely?"

  Tom was taken aback by the questions, and found himself flustered.

  "How could I get lonely? I have good friends. I have you. I don't need anything more. Not yet anyway."

  They looked at one another for a long time before Samantha stood up.

  "Well I had better get home and have a decent sleep before our last day of the easy life tomorrow."

  Tom stood up and hugged her, laughing.

  "Last day of the easy life? Silly girl."

  ~~~~~

  A week later Samantha ran into the supermarket and signalled to Tom from the side of the checkout area, near where he was serving customers. Tom was trying to be polite to the elderly woman in front of him as he scanned the groceries and accepted her payment, but in his peripheral vision he could see Samantha waving her arms and smiling broadly at him.

  Finally the customer left and with no more customers waiting in line in that moment, she rushed up to him and saw him laugh at her.

  "What is up with you? You look like the cat who got the canary, or whatever that saying is that my mother keeps using…"

  "I got in!"

  "You got in … where?"

  "To dressmaking college!"

  Tom looked at her and immediately ran around to the other side of the counter, not caring if his supervisor made a deal about it. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, feeling her jump up and down in excitement, making him laugh hard.

  When they finally pulled apart, she was grinning widely as she looked at him with tears forming in her eyes.

  "Oh, Tom, I can't believe it - and with so many not-great scores from our exams too!"

  He pulled her to him again and kissed her on her forehead.

  "I am so proud of you," he said to her and she revelled in the words and the feelings that came from them. "We need to celebrate. Tonight? Pancakes?"

  Samantha pulled away from him, suddenly coming back down from her high.

  "Oh Tom, sorry. Before I got this news I had already made plans to see Scott, so we are going out for dinner and to see a movie…"

  Tom pulled back further from her.

  "That's alright … that's great! You and I will celebrate together another day. Go! Enjoy your time out with him."

  She looked at him, uncertain if she had hurt him in any way.

  "Are you … sure? I mean, I could cancel…"

  "No, Samantha. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. Go and give him a chance."

  They looked at each other, eyes locked, before she smiled sadly at him.

  "Okay. But I will see you tomorrow? Are you working?"

  "No, I have tomorrow off."

  "Pancakes for brunch tomorrow then?"

  He smiled at her whilst moving back behind his counter.

  "Yep, that sounds good."

  Then she was walking out. Tom watched her go, wishing his heart didn't ache so much when he really did only want her to be happy.

  ~~~~~

  Samantha
walked into the restaurant, settled herself in the seat at the table she saw him at, and looked at the man across from her. Scott had been in two of the same classes as her during their last year of high school, and had been a student at the same school for long before that, but they had only gotten to know each other in a peripheral sense - polite but not quite friends.

  He smiled at her and she could see the nervousness on his face, a realisation that instantly helped to ease her own apprehension.

  "How was your day?" he asked and she smiled at him, this situation new to her.

  "Actually it was excellent. I got my acceptance into dressmaking college!" she said excitedly and was pleased to see him smile in a way that made her certain that he really heard not only what she said but also accurately perceived the heightened level of her excitement.

  "Oh my gosh, that is amazing, Samantha! Well done. And good on you for already knowing what you want to do - that is awesome."

  Samantha grinned widely with her excitement.

  "Thank you. What about you? What are your plans now that school is behind us?"

  Scott blushed a small amount as he smiled at her.

  "I'm heading off to do a year long course in automotive mechanics. It won't be glamorous but that is what I love to do - work on cars."

  Before thinking about how it might sound to a guy she hardly knew, she threw a suggestive quip at him.

  "You must be very good with your hands."

  Scott immediately read the double meaning and she saw his head raise as he laughed out loud.

  "Oh … hmm!" he said quietly when his own laughing died down, and he winked at her, assuring her that her wit was quite fine with him!

  ~~~~~

  After their meal and movie Samantha found herself nervous.

  "Would you like a ride home?" he asked her and she nodded, finding that she had nothing to say for the moment.

  Once stopped outside her house, he turned the car off, unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to better face her.

  "Thank you for a lovely evening. I've really enjoyed myself," he said to her, making her blush and smile in return.

  "Me too."

  Then he was leaning over and kissing her softly on the lips.

  "Can I take you out again?"

  "Yes," she heard herself breathe out heavily, the kiss still fresh on her lips.

  Then he was pulling away from her and getting out of the car, and she saw him move around to her side and open her door for her. The two of them walked up to the front door, where once again he kissed her softly before pulling away and removing himself, allowing her to move inside her home.

  After she heard the car pull away, she leaned on the door and smiled to herself.

  Perhaps there was love to be found in the world for her after all.

  ~~~~~

  "I would like to cook you dinner. Can I pick you up and bring you to my place tonight?" Scott asked her when he called two weeks later. They had already been out together - seeing movies and going out for meals - four times between that first date and now.

  Samantha found herself nervous at the invitation. She was enjoying time with him, and felt comfortable enough with the kissing they had done, but she was aware of being alone with him, out of the public eye. He hadn't given her any reason to be worried - she just was.

  "Your parents' house?" she asked tentatively and could hear his voice let out a small, peaceful laugh.

  "No, Samantha, I moved into my own place as soon as school finished. It will be just you and me, I assure you."

  Samantha felt her anxiety increase but there was no real reason she could identify to say that going to his home was a bad idea.

  "Okay."

  "Great. Can I pick you up at your place, about 7 o'clock?"

  "Yes, that sounds nice."

  "Okay, see you then," he said and then the line went quiet, leaving Samantha full of nerves.

  ~~~~~

  As she stood at her front door that evening Samantha found herself incredibly nervous, wondering what he would expect from her. They were the same age so perhaps he would not expect anything sexual. But then, he was living in his own place, which did set him apart from her in maturity and independence.

  She saw his car pull up and immediately Scott jumped out of the car and opened the passenger side door for her, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the lips before assisting her into the seat and closing her door.

  "Are you okay?" he asked when he was behind the wheel again and the car began to move. "You seem a bit nervous."

  Samantha smiled at him, even though the smile did nothing to hide the nervousness from him.

  "Yes," she said and then paused before deciding to be honest with him. "I am nervous, Scott."

  "Are you? Why?"

  "I …" she stammered with the determination to push forward and simply speak. "I haven't been alone with you before … not truly alone … just the two of us."

  He glanced at her briefly and she could see the confusion on his face.

  "Samantha, we don't have to go to my place. We can go out for dinner if you prefer…"

  "No! No, it is fine. Just bear with me, Scott. I will relax."

  He looked at her again, not wanting to make her feel pushed.

  "Okay."

  They said nothing more for the duration of the journey. Soon enough Samantha saw a small apartment complex, which he drove the car underneath and into the parking area.

  "Are you sure you are okay?" he asked one more time before they got out of the car. "I really don't mind…"

  Samantha put her hand out to him and grabbed his.

  "Really, Scott. I am fine."

  He smiled and then led her from the car, and soon she was entering his apartment with him. It was a small area, with a kitchen and living area combined in front of her as soon as they walked in the front door, with no hallway at all. Off the living area that they were standing in were only two doors.

  "Welcome to my home. That is the way to the bathroom," he said, pointing to one of the doors, making her realise that the other door must lead to his bedroom. The thought immediately made her blush.

  "Right, dinner coming up. Would you like something to drink? Wine? Beer?"

  "Actually, do you have something non-alcoholic?" she asked, feeling like an immature girl for asking, but he was only gracious and smiled back at her.

  "Absolutely! Orange juice, or 7up?"

  "Juice would be great, thank you."

  She watched as he served drinks for them both and then began to cook food items that appeared to have been prepared ahead of time.

  "Can I help?" she asked and he smiled broadly at her.

  "Yes, you can talk to me while I whisk this amazing feat of culinary surprise up for you."

  She laughed at him and instantly relaxed.

  ~~~~~

  Sitting down on the small sofa and eating a bowl of what appeared to be stir fried vegetables and pasta, their conversation flowed easily and Scott was glad and relieved that she had finally seemed to reach a place of relaxation.

  "Hmm, this is amazing Scott! How have you come to be so independent so soon after high school though? I don't understand how you can live like this already."

  "I worked through high school in a local mechanics shop - only on weekends and Friday after school but it was enough money for me to stash away so I could move out of home as soon as possible."

  "And you still work there?" she asked, not having heard any mention of the job since she had met him.

  "I do, but for now I am only working when they absolutely need me. I will go back to work on weekends once my course starts. For now when I get the call I am happy to go, but I am enjoying having time to do nothing as well."

  He stood and took both of their empty plates to the sink, before coming back and sitting down with her again, positioning his body so he could face her.

  "Are you still nervous?" he asked, taking her hand in his, and saw her shake her head.

  "No."r />
  "Just because I am living on my own doesn't mean that I am in a great rush to grow up too much," he said and she looked at him with an enquiring look on her face, showing him she did not understand what he meant. "We can move slow, Samantha. I don't expect anything … physical … from you," he continued with a slight blush on his face.

  "I haven't…" she started to say … started to admit to him about her virginity … but he cut her off.

  "That, to me, actually sounds really, really good. I…" he started to say, although she could not be sure he had accurately perceived what she had been going to say to him. "Last year I was involved with someone a few years older than me and we did get sexual … among other things … and I don't feel the need to rush there again. So if you are happy for us to take things really slowly - to get to know each other slowly - perhaps we can both relax now?"

  Samantha was temporarily silenced with his declaration, but nodded her head at him.

  "Okay."

  He smiled at her then and leaned in ever so slowly to kiss her, and she found herself leaning in to him also, their lips meeting slowly and softly. He wasn't going to push her - that was enough for her to let herself start to relax … and feel.

  ~~~~~

  When he dropped her outside her house that night he gave her his now traditional goodnight kiss on the doorstep of her home.

  "Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked, already feeling eager to do so again.

  "Oh, no, tomorrow I have plans with my friend, Tom. What about the day after?"

  Scott looked serious for a moment as he backtracked to what she had said.

  "You and Tom are really close…"

  Samantha was not sure if it was a question or a statement, but her answer was the same.

  "Tom is my closest friend," she said, nodding in reply.

  "But you have never been … romantic?" he asked and she put her hands around his waist and smiled up at him.

  "No, we are in no way romantic. He is my friend - think of Tom as more like a buddy … a pal…"

  Scott smiled at her. He had witnessed their friendship from a distance throughout their school years, although for a long while it had looked as if the friendship had taken a break. And he had never had any problem with Tom - to him he seemed like a simply good person.

  "Of course. Sorry, I know there is nothing to be jealous of there."