Darkness of Heart (Painful Deliverance Book 2) Page 3

  ~~~~~

  The next morning Alexis woke and showered quickly before putting two of her cheques into her purse, and heading off to work. It was only 7am so it was still slightly dark outside, and that did make her nervous. But she still had to walk to work. She always did, and knowing that Lincoln had been in the city yesterday was no reason to be any more cautious than she usually was on her way to work.

  She walked quickly. It was only a 10 minute walk between the two buildings, and it was on a fairly busy main road so there was always sufficient traffic to make her feel like she wasn't completely alone.

  With each car that drove past, though, she wondered if he was in one of them. He would know she must live somewhere near the supermarket, just as she had needed to do in Melbourne. He could be in any one of those cars driving past her right now, watching … waiting.

  Finally she rushed inside the staff entrance to the supermarket, and closed the door behind her, at last feeling safe once again. She just had to get through another day, and then get to her new bank to make the deposit. Today that was all she had to do. Today that was all she had to think about … that was all she had to worry about.

  As she set up her checkout counter for the day, she felt herself start to shake. There was no reason for it, she knew. It was an involuntary reaction to something - stress? Worry? Fear?

  Would he come to her again today? Would he come every day until she acknowledged him in some way? Would he keep following her and wanting to see her, until she told him she wanted to go back to Melbourne with him? What more did he want from her?

  "Are you alright Alexis?" she heard Tom's voice ask her from behind. "You seem a bit concerned about something."

  She looked at him, fearing that if she gave away her level of fear, he would take her off checkout and she would lose income.

  She smiled at him in response.

  "No, I am good. Thanks Tom."

  He looked at her for another moment and then smiled at her before moving on to the next checkout counter.

  ~~~~~

  Once the customers started filing past her, Alexis found she could relax more and put him out of her mind. If she could just keep smiling, and talking…

  "Can I help you, Sir?" Alexis heard Tom's voice ask from near where she was working. She raised her head and instantly wished she hadn't.

  She saw Lincoln walking directly up to Tom, with a look of anger on his face. In her mind she could see what could happen in that instant, so stepped out from behind her desk and quickly moved herself between the two men.

  "Tom, I have this," she said to her supervisor, trying to smile at him while coaxing Lincoln to look directly at her instead at the man in front of him.

  Lincoln finally looked at her, upon hearing her voice … that sweet voice. And she was looking right at him. He looked briefly at the man he had been intending to confront, but stepped back and let his attention fall to Alexis instead.

  "Mr Kokiri, please…" she started to say, in an effort to defuse him, but her choice of name only angered him once more.

  "Don't call me that, Lexi!"

  Alexis looked at him, and then at Tom, who seemed to have a look of horror on his face.

  "Tom, can I please take my 15 minute break now?" she asked and he nodded, sensing this usually-quiet worker who never asked for anything, really did need it. "Thank you."

  Lincoln was watching her face and hating the way she had gotten her supervisor - her supervisor - to do what she wanted. She had told him what she wanted, and he had given it to her. That wasn't right … that wasn't how things were meant to be.

  "Come with me," he heard the voice say quietly as she spoke to him … only to him. She still did not use his first name, but at least she was talking to him.

  He nodded at her, unable to speak for the moment. He had dreamed of having this opportunity … to be close to her again … but now was overwhelmed with feelings that were arising from it.

  Alexis led him out the front exit, determined to get him away from where she worked.

  When they were clear of the exterior doors, she turned to him and for the first time ever, he saw anger looking at him from her face.

  "Don't you ever come anywhere near my workplace again," she said, in a terrifyingly controlled and low voice.

  Lincoln was initially surprised … stunned … before he found his thinking and his voice again.

  "You let him touch you?" he asked, referring to Tom but Alexis had no idea who he meant, thinking that surely he didn't know about Anthony.

  "What? Who?"

  "That guy in there!"

  He saw a look of confusion come over her face, and he had to admit to himself that it didn't look as if it was an act.

  "That guy in there - Tom - is the checkout supervisor!"

  "He gave you a ride yesterday. I saw you with him."

  Alexis looked at him in horror, but then also relief. She hadn't been too paranoid the day before after all. He had been there, in the carpark, waiting for her.

  "You were watching me yesterday…" she said quietly, in almost a whisper.

  "I'm trying to keep you safe…"

  "Safe? The only person I need to be kept safe from is you! You are the one who follows me, who watches my every movement. It has to stop - right now! If you keep watching me, I will have you arrested."

  Lincoln heard the words but could not believe them. This wasn't how it was meant to go when he got her to talk to him again. She wasn't supposed to be so forward in talking to him like this. She always wanted to please him. That was the power of their relationship. He groaned as he realised that he had miscalculated again.

  "You don't mean that, Lexi. I love you…"

  "This isn't love. This is obsession. I don't love you, Lincoln. I have never loved you."

  He heard the sentence but when he next spoke she knew he didn't actually comprehend what she had said.

  "You used my name … thank you."

  She turned away from him, to head back into the store, but then turned back.

  "Keep away from me, and keep away from this supermarket. I am not part of your life anymore, and you are certainly not part of mine. Go back to Melbourne and please just forget all about me. I do not want to see your face again. Ever."

  Lincoln heard these words and finally understood something she was saying to him. Before he could reply - before he could tell her again how much he loved her - she had gone. But some of her words had sunk in this time, and he would not go into her workplace again. For now…

  But he did not believe that she did not love him. If she did not love him, she would not have done all those wonderful things for him. All of those wonderful things with him.

  No, they were meant to be together. There was no-one else he was meant to be with. There was no-one else she was meant to be with.

  He would go away now but he certainly would not forget her. Of that, he had absolutely no doubt … and absolutely no intention.

  ~~~~~

  Alexis walked into the supermarket and immediately went to approach Tom, who had been filling in on her counter. As soon as there was a gap between customers, she stepped in and took over once again.

  "I am sorry, Tom," she said quietly to him, hoping she would not get into trouble since she really did need this job.

  He looked closely at her. They got on well enough but not at any personal level, so he realised then that he actually knew nothing at all about her personal life.

  "Was that the guy who owns all those companies? Lincoln Kokiri?" he asked and saw her nod. "He looked like he was coming at me … to fight me," he said and Alexis cringed in the knowledge that he was probably right. She waited for the present customer to leave, and there to be no more in line at the moment, before she spoke freely to him.

  "I think he saw me get in your car yesterday, and got the wrong idea. Sorry. I hope I have convinced him now that he had made a very wrong assumption there."

  Tom looked at her still, wondering how one of h
is timid little checkout operators knew such a powerful man.

  "He called you by a different name though - Lexi. I suppose that is short for Alexis," he said and saw her nod in acknowledgement. "Is he … a … friend of yours?"

  Alexis laughed lightly at the terminology and found herself speechless as to how to answer that question. She looked at the man in front of her and saw his curiosity, but she really did not know what to say.

  "I would not use the term friend, no," she said and decided to leave it at that.

  Tom heard and immediately understood the avoidance of his question and resolved to not ask any more. It was intriguing - suddenly she was intriguing - but he respected boundaries and would not ask any further questions.

  "Well if you ever need a friend to talk to about anything, I have good solid shoulders," he said and smiled at her before walking away, leaving her to get on with her job.

  After her work for the day was done, Alexis tentatively left the supermarket and began her walk to her new bank to deposit the cheques she had grabbed that morning.

  As she walked along the road she was wary, but hopeful that Lincoln would not be anywhere to be seen. She could not have been any more forward with him so he must understand now that she did not want to see him.

  But then, he must have known that before, and yet he still came all this way to seek her out.

  Suddenly she felt lonely and eager to talk to Anthony. She had another four days of work before she would get some time off, but he had already told her he would come up and stay with her on those days off. She welcomed that greatly, and only wished it could be sooner. But she also conceded that four more days would give her a better indication of whether Lincoln was really gone or not. If he wasn't, he would have made it known by then. He wanted her attention desperately - he wouldn't sit in wait for too long before making another attempt at getting it, if he still desired to do so.

  2 ~ THE OPTIONS

  "What?" Anthony asked her, thinking he must have heard incorrectly. He and Alexis were standing in her room in the guest house she resided in, having just arrived from the train station, where she had met him upon his arrival. She had only originally intended for this room to be temporary accommodation for the first few days after she had initially arrived in the city several months earlier, but it suited her well and she was in no hurry to move.

  Alexis instantly felt some regret at having mentioned the interaction with Lincoln. She and Anthony had only just arrived in her room, and had much more pleasant things to do - more pleasant ways to catch up with each other after having spent the past week apart. But she had spoken, because she did want to talk to him about it. She had not seen Lincoln at all over the past four days so either he had left the city she lived in … or he was still sitting in wait. Watching.

  That thought had almost made Alexis book a ticket to go and see Anthony, rather than let him come to her, but she knew that whichever way they did things, if Lincoln wanted to watch her and follow her, he would find out about Anthony. That, to her, was even more fearful to her than Lincoln Kokiri finding her.

  "He was here, Anthony. He came into my work earlier this week … twice."

  Anthony looked at Alexis in disbelief. He had thought that episode of her life was over and she was now finally safe. The thought that Lincoln had finally found her and might now be determined to push himself back into her life again infuriated Anthony … and scared him.

  "Allie," he said, the name coming out of his mouth like it was a breath rather than a name. He knew her proper name now, of course, but still continued to use the name she had introduced herself to him as when they had met. He liked it and she seemed to naturally have taken to him calling her by it, so between the two of them they had silently accepted that he would always call her that, no matter what anyone else called her.

  Alexis could see the fear on his face, and reached out to him to put her arms around him.

  "I am fine, Anthony. He didn't hurt me in any way."

  "But how did he find you?" he asked as he responded to her hug, and put his arms around her also, pulling her body tight against his.

  Alexis shrugged her shoulders and saw his facial expression change from fear to anger, and back to horror once more.

  "I don't know. But I had to open a bank account when I first got here, for my pay to go into, so it might have been through that. There was always a good chance he would find me, Anthony. It just isn't possible for me to live without some kind of electronic record being out there about me - it is just the world that we all live in."

  Anthony found his mind working quickly, with far too many thoughts - too many worries - flowing through it for him to be able to clearly focus on any one of them. He had only just let this woman into his life, after two years of grieving for his past love, and the thought of losing Alexis as well was a devastating thought to him.

  Alexis felt his arms tighten even more around her, and let him hold her for as long as he needed to.

  They stayed like that for a long time, each in their own thoughts, until finally she felt his hold ease off, and he stood back from her and looked intently into her eyes.

  "I don't want to lose you," Anthony said, knowing he couldn't again go through anything like he had when Cynthia had died in the car accident. He knew it was a selfish thought, thinking about how something happening to her would impact him, but he could not stop the thought entering his mind.

  Alexis looked into his eyes and felt a tear threaten in her own, thinking about what he must have gone through with his previous partner, thinking one minute that they had a long future ahead of marriage and children, and then being told that she was gone forever and none of that could happen.

  She reached up and kissed him, softly at first, just as a comfort, but the movement caught with him and he pulled her close again, indulging in the kiss. The emotions flowing through him from the news that Lincoln Kokiri had found her, and approached her, made him feel even more close to the woman in his arms, and he felt a protectiveness come over him.

  He indulged in kissing her, feeling himself start to get carried away in her lips, and Alexis realised that she was being walked backwards toward the bed, a move she welcomed. In this she found so much equality with Anthony - even now he was pulling her down to lie with him, but he was kissing her and moving with her, letting things happen in a natural way. Not in a planned way. Not in a controlled way.

  They undressed each other slowly, mixing the process up with caresses of lips and hands, and Alexis felt herself sinking into the blissful feelings that came from that. She was eager to be closer to him … closer and closer still, and eventually pushed him onto his back and positioned herself on top of him. As she lay there she looked into his eyes, subconsciously checking that her taking the initiative was not something that was upsetting him, but she only saw a mirror image of her own arousal and eagerness on his face.

  Anthony relished the feelings. Prior to a week ago when the two of them had finally let themselves move to this stage, it had been two years since he had been sexual with anyone, and in this moment he was carried away in the pleasure he had missed for so long. He felt her kissing him and he couldn't seem to get enough of those kisses. Her lips, her tongue … they moved so easily with his, invoking a deep moaning from him in his hunger for more, and his desperation for it not to stop.

  Whilst her lips maintained the attention of his, he felt her start to move against his hardness, like she was stroking it. He could feel her arousal - the level of moisture and wetness was heavenly to him, as proof that she wasn't doing this just because she felt she should pleasure him, but because she wanted to share this with him. And she wanted it for herself. That thought … that understanding … that she could share something equally with him, rather than just do what she was told, as she had done for so long with him, fuelled Anthony to not indulge so much in thought. Instead he switched his mind off and focused purely on the feeling of their two bodies intertwining.

  Ale
xis felt like she was on fire. They had taken so long to get to this point and even though they had initially come together for the first time a week ago, it was still new enough that it felt like it was still brand new, this getting to know each other's bodies. She could feel his hunger for her through his lips, and hear him moaning in pleasure, and the feeling inside of her that was coming from her rubbing against him was magical to her. And he wasn't telling her to do this or to do that. She knew she could stay where she was and indulge in the blissful feeling of pleasure for as long as she wanted, and he would not force her to do anything differently. He would not force her to do something that was focused solely on pleasing him.

  Finally, when she could not wait any longer, she reached for a condom and rolled it down onto him, looking at him to see if he had any objection, but only seeing raw desire in his eyes.

  She leaned down and kissed him again for a long time, not quite yet rushing … letting them relax back to where they were a moment ago, indulging in lips and tongues enjoying each other.

  Anthony felt it happen, ever so slowly. That feeling first of being moved against, and then enclosed. She did it with incredible control, given how aroused he knew she was, and she didn't stop kissing him as she moved so slowly down onto him, until he was fully inside of her. Both of them let out a groan at the same time, as they reached the point of being fully joined. Once there, she lay still, just kissing him, feeling so full of him, while he felt like he had slipped into a tight fitting and warm glove. Like he was home.

  Alexis relished the feeling before starting to move on, moving up and down slowly on top of him, kissing his lips, and feeling her arousal grow as she moved her pelvis back and forth over his, causing rubbing on her clitoris.

  He could feel what she was doing, and the act of her moving for her own pleasure and his, pushed his own arousal even higher but he determined to hold back - not yet climax - until he finally felt her squeeze him tightly and almost flop down onto him in release. Then he let himself go, and she heard his breathing change and felt his own muscles twitching inside of her as he reached orgasm also.