Darkness of Heart (Painful Deliverance Book 2) Read online

  The elderly woman seemed to accept her answer, and moved on. Alexis smiled and chatted to customer after customer until finally her supervisor came and told her to go and have her lunch break. To come back in half an hour.

  Alexis smiled at him and walked away. Usually in this time she walked - only around the large block the supermarket resided on but it was enough in the middle of the day to help her re-energise and prepare for the coming afternoon of more smiling and chitchat. Not that she minded the smiling and friendly conversation. Since she had begun her new life, she had found herself able to do it far more easily than she had been able to previously. She knew that part of that was due to having gone through what she did with Lincoln, and then getting away from him. But a greater part of her growing self-confidence was due to her having met Anthony. He was a good man and he was good for her, she often thought to herself. And she was consistently thankful - and glad - that when she had stepped off that bus in his town, he was the person who had approached her and asked if she needed help.

  Alexis stopped at the outer doors to the supermarket exterior. It was a habit now, walking out there and walking around the block, whenever she had a break. But today she felt a fear come over her. She remembered how he had sat in his car, waiting for her, in another time, in another supermarket carpark. Waiting so that once she left the building, he could follow her, and then approach her.

  She halted her footsteps before opening the door. She believed she was stronger now. She believed she could summon the strength to simply say 'no'. But a large part of her still did not want to test those theories. She did not want to step outside of those doors, and find herself approached by him again. She did not want to have to look at him … and she certainly did not want to sense him following her. If she let that happen - if he followed her - he would know where she lived. And if he knew where she lived, he would try and get inside. And if he got inside, alone with her…

  Alexis shuddered at the thought. No, she had to be more alert and aware than to let that happen.

  But perhaps he wouldn't have any intention of following her, or learning where she lived. Perhaps he had already left, immediately after he had walked out of the exit of the supermarket after she served him. Perhaps she wasn't even on his mind.

  But he had come to her workplace. And it wasn't anywhere near his home. It wasn't even in his city. So she considered it best to assume - to believe - that he had come here to seek her out and try to re-establish contact with her.

  Alexis turned and walked toward the staffroom. No, today was not a good day for a midday walk. It was, however, a very good day to stay inside.

  ~~~~~

  After her morning and lunchtime breaks, Alexis started to watch the clock on the wall near the supermarket checkout. She had one more hour of work to get through. Then she could go home. In one way she wanted to go home. She had been on her feet for hours and they were certainly crying out for some decent rest. But she found inside of her a growing fear about going home. If she did go home, she might be alone there - she might not be, but she might be. Her landlady and other tenants might be there - but they might not. That thought did not appeal if he was nearby and watching her. But she was limited in her options.

  If only Anthony lived closer, she thought to herself. But no, that would never have worked anyway. She did not want him to get messed up with Lincoln - she did not want Lincoln to know who Anthony was, or what part he had played in her setting up a new life.

  She hadn't yet moved out of the guest house the two of them had gone to when he had first escorted her to the city. It was comfortable and she was reluctant to find a whole apartment just for herself. The guest house was close to her work, and the landlady was appreciative of Alexis living there, being the good tenant that she was proving to be. And she could afford it.

  She still did not access the bank accounts that she knew Lincoln had earlier proven he had access to, but she suspected his investigations would have delved deeper to find the new bank account she'd had to open since beginning work in the supermarket. Perhaps that was even how he had found her. Thinking about that, she decided that now she may as well withdraw the money that was in the original accounts. She had left most of her money in there on purpose on the day she had left Melbourne, because she thought he would instantly know she had left if he saw a large cash withdrawal. Now he knew where she was anyway, she may as well have the money for herself, and close those accounts completely.

  Soon enough it was time to leave. She found herself shaking at the thought of walking out the door. In the supermarket she got on well enough with all of the staff, but did not have one particular friend she would lean on if she needed to. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to stay inside the building and not walk out at all, but of course that was not an option.

  "Where are you heading now, Alexis?" she heard a male voice beside her ask, and she instantly jumped, before turning and smiling at her checkout supervisor, Tom.

  "Oh, I was thinking that I need to get to the bank, actually," she said shyly, not wanting to seem as stressed as she felt.

  "Well I am finished for the day and heading over to the mall. I can give you a lift there, if you like," he said and she looked at his face. She had always had so many strong beliefs about men ingrained in her, and it was still taking her time to undo some of that thinking. This man before her had never shown her any interest of a romantic or sexual kind. He was as respectful toward her as he was toward all of the checkout staff. She didn't think he was asking her into his car for any reason other than what he had offered - to give her a ride.

  She nodded. "Thank you, Tom. I would greatly appreciate that."

  He smiled at her and held out his arm to indicate he was letting her go first. Even in this she was still working through her thoughts and reactions to such gestures, given how strongly it had been drummed into her that she must not ever lead. That she must always follow.

  When they reached the outer doors he opened the door and held it open for her to pass through before him, and she walked out into the sunshine. He wasn't much older than her, although he seemed to have been in the supermarket forever, and he appeared to be much liked by everyone. She didn't really have any real fear of getting in a car with him. She would be okay with him. She would be fine.

  "My car is over here," she heard him say and the two of them walked beside one another in comfortable companionship. Tom thought nothing of the gesture - he would offer a ride to any of his staff needing it at the same time as he was leaving work. Alexis thought it a very big deal - to her he was offering her a safe passage, a way to be sure no-one else would stop and try to approach her.

  ~~~~~

  Lincoln was still sitting in his car, thinking, when he saw her walk across the carpark with a man. He was unaware of how long he had been sitting there, and when he saw the man beside her, he didn't care how long it had been. All he saw was his Lexi with another man. And he did not like that. She may not have been near him all of this time, but the thought of another man having her attention, spending time with her … touching her … made him see red. He felt inside of him the rage growing. He had only felt this level of anger once before, and he had controlled it. He had on that day controlled the need he felt … to kill. He did not know if he would be able to control it today, knowing what he was seeing.

  He watched them walk over to a car and get into it, smiling at each other in a friendly way. He felt his mood change. He felt his blood starting to heat up drastically inside of him. He felt his heart beating loudly. And he felt his breathing deepen. He had to calm down. He knew it. It had to be done. But knowing he had to do it, and being able to do it, were two very different things.

  He started his car with intention of following them. He wanted to see if she was going home with that man. He needed to know what was happening between them. He just had to know.

  Before they pulled out of the carpark - before he had pulled out - his mobile phone rang. His first reaction
was to ignore it but he was more of a professional than that. He looked at the screen and saw it was one of his major clients from Brisbane, and realised it was a timely phone call because he needed to think before he acted on what he had just wanted to do.

  He turned off his car and answered the phone to take the call. When he listened to the client speak, he automatically fitted back into his role of business owner.

  When he finished his phone call, he knew that Lexi had long gone. And he would not be able to find out where she went with that man. Not today. But definitely tomorrow.

  ~~~~~

  Alexis sat quietly in the car with her supervisor. She had a huge tendency to mistrust people, and as much as she hated that, it was so entrenched in her nature that she knew that of all the things she wanted to change about herself, that would most likely be the last thing she could succeed in changing.

  "Which bank are you at, Alexis?" Tom asked, startling her in her thoughts, but she smiled at him and told him. "Alright. I might drop you off just up here then, if that works for you. I need to go on to the supermarket but I think just up here will be closer to your bank, right?"

  Alexis nodded and agreed with him, not seeing anything about Tom to make her think that he had any intention of any kind as far as she was concerned.

  She sat quietly as he pulled the car over to the side of the road, and she started to get out.

  "Thank you, Tom. I appreciate this," she said and he smiled and waved at her before turning his attention back to the road.

  Alexis closed the door and watched him drive away. She felt the sunlight on her face for the first time all day and wanted to stand there and let it wash over her, but soon enough fear entered her head and she began to walk quickly into her bank.

  ~~~~~

  "I would like to close my bank accounts, please," she said to the teller in front of her.

  "Of course. Please come with me and I will take you to see Sharon, who will be able to help you with that," the teller said before coming around to the front of the counter she was at, and then leading Alexis away to another area further away.

  Once seated, it was a relatively quick process, having her accounts closed. The woman before her went away for a few minutes and then came back and handed her a cheque.

  "Here are the funds from your combined accounts, Ms Montgomery," she said and Alexis looked at the amount on the small piece of paper in front of her.

  "Oh no, there must be some mistake, Sharon. There is no way I had that much in my account. It should have been maybe $400 at most," Alexis stuttered and the woman looked confused.

  "Oh I see. Alright, let's take a look. Yes, you are right, you did have a combined account balance of $389.56 until three weeks ago. Then a deposit was made for $15,000."

  The bank staff member looked at the woman in front of her, and watched her go pale, whilst appearing very nervous.

  "Who was the deposit made by?" Alexis dared to ask, dreading the answer that would come back.

  "It has been made by … Sunshine Supermarkets Limited."

  Alexis looked at the woman, wondering what to do now. The deposit had been made by the supermarket she used to work in - the company anyway, although not likely the branch. And Lincoln owned the supermarket chain. So it was likely that this was his doing. The question was, what to do about it.

  She took a moment to put her head in her hands and just think. Why would he do that? Why would he deposit such as large sum of money into her account? Unless he wanted her to withdraw it, so she would deposit it into another account … could he see her deposit a cheque she took now? And if that was the case, was that why it was such a large, round amount?

  She didn't want his money, but she could use it. But she didn't want one large cheque to deposit.

  Finally Sharon saw Alexis raise her head once more.

  "I know you just prepared this cheque for me, but would it be possible for you to rip that up and instead give me the same amount in individual cheques of no more than $300 each?"

  "You want me to give you fifty cheques, each for $300?"

  "Yes - well they don't all have to be exactly $300. A mix of different amounts but no very large cheques, would be ideal. Is that possible? Sorry I know I am asking a lot…"

  "No, not at all. Are you sure?" Sharon asked and saw Alexis nod. "Alright," she continued, ripping up the cheque in front of Alexis. "I won't be long, Ms Montgomery. Please wait here and I will be back shortly."

  Alexis sat where she was, hoping that she was doing something that made some sense. Actually she didn't know if her request did make any sense, but the thought of having one cheque for more than $15,000 seemed ludicrous. This way she could deposit small parts of the amount over a long period of time - even one cheque each week over almost a year.

  She knew she was being paranoid. Lincoln already knew where she was so it didn't matter what she did anymore. He had always made sure he knew where she was and what she was doing. He had been watching her for so long, and had not hidden the fact. And she suspected he had made the deposit only as a way to try and find out where she was, so wouldn't even need to notice the deposit now.

  She didn't like the thought of using money from him.

  But she would.

  ~~~~~

  Lincoln returned to his motel room. It was a depressing place but it would have to do. He hated being confined in such small spaces. It was bad enough in Lexi's apartment…

  He caught himself in that thought. He had not touched her apartment at all, leaving it just as it was when she had left, in case she wanted to go back to it. In his heart he knew that she wouldn't, but he couldn't bring himself to just accept that, or to get rid of it just yet.

  He thought back to the day he had taken her to that apartment to show it to her. It wasn't the first one he had shown her, but she needed to be much closer to her work than the previous ones she had seen.

  When she had opened her eyes that day, he had seen such joy in them. On that day she had been truly happy. What had happened since then that had stopped her being that happy? When had she stopped smiling so much?

  He felt angry all of a sudden, and highly aroused. It was a blend of combined feelings that he had come to know all too well.

  He undressed and turned on the shower to the hottest temperature, and waited for the water to heat up.

  While he waited, he looked in the mirror. He stood, fully naked, and in this particular mirror he could see from his head right down to his thighs. He looked front-on first, and then stood sideways. He wasn't vain, but he knew he was in very good shape for his age. And so he should be, given how much effort he put into his fitness. Especially since she had left - he had gone through two pairs of running shoes since then, having felt so much the need to run … the need to maintain control.

  As he turned further he remembered how much he missed Lexi and the pain she had always loved giving to him. Now his back was too bare, and too pale.

  He walked into the bedroom area and removed his belt from his pants. He tried - for not the first time - to hit himself with the leather end. It was something - but it was not enough. He turned the belt around in his hand so that it was the buckle that was free, and he repeated the action. This time he felt the cold metal strike his skin. It still wasn't enough, but it was the best he would be able to do at the moment.

  He hit himself again and again, eventually finding it easier to swing the belt around him and plunge against his back with some force.

  When he'd had enough, he looked in the mirror and looked at the red marks that were now on his back.

  He moved to the shower and stood under the hot water, feeling the heat hit the marks he had created. He felt highly aroused at the sensation but he didn't indulge in self-pleasuring. He had not had an orgasm since he had last been with her. His ongoing level of arousal had not gone away, but he wanted to save it … for her.

  So he focused more on just the feeling of the hot water hitting the marks. It was a simple pleasure, b
ut something that he knew he was not easily satisfied with. Always he felt like he needed so much more.

  No, it wasn't enough. But for now it would do.

  Until he got her back, it would do.

  ~~~~~

  After a nervous walk, constantly looking around her, Alexis finally got back to the guest house and into the safety of her own room. Immediately she sat down on the bed she slept in - there were two in the room - and then she lay down. She needed to get out of her uniform and hang it up in the bathroom so the creases would lessen and smooth out when she had a shower - she only had two changes of uniform and one was still wet from having been washed the day before.

  But for now she just wanted to lie still, in the peace and calm of her room, and not do anything. Her emotions had been in turmoil for hours now, and she needed to let her mind rest.

  When she had arrived at the guest house earlier she had stayed around the front door for a while, discretely looking out the front windows to see if she had been followed. No-one had appeared. No suspicious car. No suspicious person.

  "Are you alright, Alexis?" her landlady had asked her and she had nodded.

  "Yes, thank you," she replied to the older woman, before leaving to go to her room.

  Now she just wanted to take a minute.

  In her handbag she had more than $15,300 worth of cheques. She had to put them somewhere safe, first of all.

  She sat up and looked around the room. She had no reason not to trust her landlady, but in all honesty she wouldn't know if the woman ever entered her room when she was at work. She decided to put them in an envelope and then used a safety pin to discretely attach the envelope to the back side of the edge of one of the curtains. Tomorrow she would deposit some of the cash into her new account. At least the money that was her own, anyway. The rest she didn't really care about. She would use it if she could, but if it disappeared it didn't really matter.