Friendship of Desire (Painful Deliverance Book 3) Page 10

  Samantha smiled at him, so happy that she had taken the time to visit him the night before in an attempt to resurrect their spending time together again.

  "I am glad you are enjoying it. And of course you are good at being a supervisor, Tom. You are good with people, so why wouldn't you be?"

  He looked at her, glad she was before him once again even though it had been his doing, this past time apart. He was happy to be with her again, but knew he had needed them to have a break from one another.

  "Thank you."

  From that moment on, life seemed to settle back into normality for both of them, that feeling of something missing finally disappearing once they relaxed fully around each other once more. The talking was back to normal. The hanging out in his apartment was back to normal. And attending the club was back to normal. Not any easier, particularly for him, but certainly back to normal.

  ~~~~~

  Tom continued to grow in his new role as checkout supervisor in the supermarket, and he was enjoying interacting with other staff on a different level. One day when he gave Alexis a ride to the bank after work, and she saw his whip and flogger in the back seat - something that Samantha had suggested they buy so he could practice using them on her in his apartment as well as at the club - he was initially angry at himself that he had left such things out in the open. But moving past his discomfort, he found he was more curious about her reaction to them, and the conversation that followed in coming days secured another stage in them moving toward forming a mutually respectful and trustworthy friendship. She had something in her past that was intriguing to him, and she seemed equally intrigued about the club that he went to with Samantha, and the things they did there.

  Inviting her to come to his place for dinner, and introducing her to Samantha, was the natural next and final stage in them securing each other as good friends. He could see that Samantha took to her instantly, and that reassured him in his assessment of Alexis as a friend who would become someone very special in their lives.

  ~~~~~

  Samantha had never been a girl who had lots of female friends. A few of them had continued to remain in the outskirts of her life after their high school years, but as she had left school behind, although she had met plenty of other women on her design course, always Tom was the only person she truly regarded as a great friend.

  But when she met Alexis, she felt something different. Perhaps because of the experiences Alexis had gone through. Samantha found that Alexis never gave full details about that - especially the who - but she said enough for Samantha to know that she had been left somewhat traumatised by her time with whoever the man had been, and it had been due to the constant delivering of pain to him. The concept struck a nerve with Samantha, especially with Tom now being in that position with her, and it prompted many conversations between the girls that offered Samantha a different view point to things that she and Tom did.

  ~~~~~

  "Tom, Samantha, this is Anthony," Alexis said to them one weekend when the four of them were going out to dinner at a restaurant together.

  Tom immediately gave the stranger a once over and then caught himself out in surprise of himself for doing so. Something about Alexis made him feel protective over her, but as the evening wore on, all Tom could see about the relationship between Alexis and her man was that it was mutually respectful, and Tom found himself slightly jealous of it, if he was completely honest with himself. Sitting across from them, watching the way they looked at each other, he couldn't help but yearn for that kind of relationship himself, and quietly wondered if it would ever come to him.

  Samantha also watched the couple before them and found herself wistful. Not only were they such a stunning couple to look at, but there was something so loving about their manner with each other. Even with all the teasing they gave each other … the laughter … the jokes … the quiet quips and jabs at one another … none of those things could hide the level of love on display. It affected her, as it was also affecting the man next to her, but neither knew the other felt exactly the same.

  ~~~~~

  "Thank you for putting the time aside to have dinner with me and Anthony the other night, Tom," Alexis said to him at work the next work day they were on together.

  He looked at her, still finding himself thoughtful about so many things to do with her. Sometimes it felt like she was someone who had come into his life for a reason, although if that were the case he had no idea what reason it could be.

  Alexis saw him smile at her shyly.

  "It was a pleasure to meet Anthony, Alexis. You two are … inspirational … to look at really," he answered and Alexis heard a tone of sadness in his voice.

  "Inspirational? Explain," she pushed him to see how he would expand on the sentence, and she saw him blush a small amount.

  "I just … I guess I just felt a little bit jealous really," he said, being honest but knowing he must sound like an idiot for saying such a thing, but when he looked at her face he only saw surprise. "I sometimes wonder if I shall ever find someone who will love me, Alexis, and when I was looking at you two … I guess the way that you are around each other - even just the way that you look at each other - I don't know. A part of me wishes I could find that."

  Alexis smiled at him softly and moved closer to talk to him more quietly.

  "Are you sure you haven't already found it?" she said and then smiled at him again before they were approached by the manager so ended the conversation, but her words - her question - stayed with him for the rest of the day.

  ~~~~~

  "When we were in Melbourne at the weekend, he asked me to marry him, and I've said yes!" Alexis said to Samantha and Tom one night over a dinner they were enjoying in Tom's apartment.

  Samantha immediately jumped up and hugged her.

  "Oh my God, Alexis! I am so happy for you!"

  Tom stood also, and moved to hug her quietly as he kissed her cheek.

  "Thank you," Alexis said, still feeling the warmth from the time she had spent in Melbourne with Anthony, and the moment of his proposal.

  She turned to Samantha and took her hands.

  "But Samantha, I need a wedding dress and I would be honoured if you would design and make it … if you have the time."

  "Me? Oh but Alexis, it is such as special day for you…"

  "Yes, it is. That is why I want you to design and make the dress for me."

  "But I am still only learning, Alexis…"

  "Can you sew anything that you have designed?" Alexis asked, knowing full well that Samantha had been making her own clothing for ages.

  "Yes…"

  "Right then, let me give you a rule of customer service, that I have no doubt Tom will agree with," she said, looking to him for support. "That being that the customer is always right. What they want, they should get. And what I want is for you to design and make me a dress. It does not have to be fluffy and grand with a one mile train or any of that rubbish. I want a dress that I can wear on the day, knowing it is original and simple, but I could also wear again to … whatever fancy occasion may present itself in the future. I don't know - going to the opera or something."

  Samantha heard the spiel and then smiled.

  "Alright. But you will give me input into the design sketches, and you will come with me to buy the fabric, so you definitely have what you want."

  "Agreed," Alexis said simply and hugged Samantha. "Oh thank you!"

  ~~~~~

  A month later the dress design was finalised and the girls headed off to search for the perfect fabric.

  Walking into the large fabric outlet store, Alexis felt overwhelmed, while Samantha felt like she was in heaven, being surrounded by such a wide plethora of textures and colours.

  "Oh, that's it, Samantha," Alexis exclaimed after they had been walking around for a while, primarily in the wedding fabric aisle of so many shades of white and cream.

  Samantha turned and followed the eye line of her friend, and thought she must be mi
ssing whatever she as looking at, given that there was nothing either white or cream in front of them.

  "What?"

  "There!" Alexis said, pointing forward and then moving forward and taking a piece of fabric in her hands to feel it. "Here."

  "But Alexis, that's … green."

  Alexis laughed at Samantha.

  "I don't care. My wedding. My wedding dress. This is the fabric, Samantha. Everyone else can have their creams and whites, but this … this is my fabric."

  Samantha was stunned, but seeing the look on her friend's face, forced herself to relax and laugh also.

  "You are right. Who says you have to wear a colour everyone else wears on their wedding day?" she said and instantly touched the fabric herself. "It will work well with the design and, Alexis, this colour is going to look amazing on you with your skin and hair colouring."

  After shopping the girls sat down for lunch in a nearby café.

  "So, we are having the wedding at Anthony's house, as you know," Alexis said and saw Samantha nod in affirmation. "But we thought you and Tom might like to come down next weekend for a visit. What do you think?"

  Samantha instantly considered the logistics of such a trek, one aspect in particular on her mind, but Alexis, being as perceptive as she was, picked up on it.

  "There is more than one spare room in Anthony's house, if that is what you are worried about," she said and Samantha instantly visibly relaxed. "So will you talk to Tom about it and see what he thinks?"

  ~~~~~

  Another week later Tom and Samantha were on the train, travelling on their journey down to the town where Anthony lived.

  "Are you okay?" she asked him, sensing his nervousness.

  "Yes. I am just not used to this … visiting … thing. I know we know Alexis and Anthony but it feels strange to be going to stay in his house."

  "I know. But they are having the wedding there and we will have to stay there for that weekend anyway. At least this time you can have your own room. When the wedding is on, you and I are going to have to share…"

  Tom looked at her sharply, the news being completely new to him.

  "What?"

  "Alexis didn't tell you?" Samantha asked and saw Tom shake his head. "Oh, well they are having a few people to stay, so you and I will be in one room."

  Tom was quiet, trying desperately to not think about the possibility of sleeping close to her.

  "What is worrying you about it? I have seen your undies heaps of times…" she said cheekily and immediately he gave her the less often felt punch on her arm. "It will be okay. You will be safe, I assure you."

  He had to smile at her then, knowing that it was important for them to be at the wedding so he wouldn't mention anything to Alexis. After all, it wasn't her fault how he felt about Samantha. How much torment could come to him, sleeping in the same room … the same bed … as her.

  ~~~~~

  "Oh my God, what an amazing home, Anthony!" Samantha exclaimed as soon as the homestead came into view as the four of them walked up from the train station, where Alexis and Anthony had met Tom and Samantha off the train.

  Anthony smiled at her and then looked at Alexis, who squeezed his hand in agreement, feeling exactly the same way about the house that would soon also be her home.

  The four of them walked inside and Anthony showed Tom to his room as Alexis showed Samantha to hers.

  "I have assumed you did not want to share," Alexis said quietly to Samantha as they walked into the room Alexis had used when she had first met Anthony.

  "You assumed right, even though I know you think it should be differently!" Samantha teased Alexis back, smiling. "But don't worry. The weekend of the wedding Tom and I shall be good and share a room."

  "Does he know about that?"

  "Yes, I told him on the way here," Samantha said, laughing softly.

  "And his response? I am sure he will be in heaven…"

  Samantha laughed loudly.

  "He was embarrassed and a bit surprised, but he'll be okay. It will all be fine."

  The two of them moved out of the bedroom and back to the living room, where Samantha's eyes fell immediately on the large photo hanging over the fireplace.

  "Anthony! Is that you?"

  She looked at him and saw him blush as he smiled shyly and nodded.

  "Oh my God, that is amazing! But where did you get that done? It looks so professional."

  Anthony looked at Alexis, a look passing between them that caused Samantha and Tom both to become curious.

  Finally it was Alexis that spoke.

  "It was an early wedding gift. From someone from my past," she said, silently begging Samantha to not ask any more questions.

  Samantha picked up the cue and quickly stopped the automatic question that would have left her mouth then, from escaping.

  "Well, Anthony, that is stunning. Quite a handsome lad in your baker's outfit, aren't you?" she said and then thought about what she said, which made her backtrack a bit, making everyone laugh. "Not that you aren't a handsome lad without your baker's outfit, of course!"

  Anthony laughed out loud at her, glad the moment had passed with a small amount of humour. Accepting the large photograph into his home had been difficult for him, knowing who had paid for it and sent it to them, but Alexis had worked him until he acknowledged that it was a photo of him, not of the person who bought it - Lincoln Kokiri. And while he didn't particularly need a photo of himself in his home, he knew it did make her happy so he had let her convince him it should be hung with a pride of place. He couldn't tell her that sometimes looking at it kept his memory alive with the one person from her past that he desperately wished they could both forget.

  ~~~~~

  Tom felt out of his element in the situation, having never been a person who had lots of friends. Even as well as he knew Samantha, they had not had 'sleepovers' since they had been very young as kids.

  But despite his initial discomfort, especially since he didn't feel he really knew Anthony that well, he got through the afternoon and evening, and knew he would be fine getting through the wedding weekend also. It was just one more challenge that he could overcome, just as he had overcome so many in recent months.

  8 ~ THE WEDDING

  Present Day

  Tom stood in the bathroom of Anthony's family homestead and looked at himself in the mirror as he prepared himself for going to collect the girls from the room they were readying themselves in. He never knew how others viewed him, particularly women, having not had a real relationship in his lifetime so far. But looking at himself now in the mirror before him, clean shaven and suitably groomed in the wedding suit he had on, he thought he looked okay. He didn't see a Prince Charming, but he equally didn't see an ogre. As far as he was concerned, he was just an average guy - nothing more, nothing less.

  Finally he was ready. He knocked on the bedroom he knew the groom had been forbidden from entering. When the door was opened and his view fell to the two women inside, his breath was stilled. It should of course have been the bride that caught his eye and made him breathless, but while he did acknowledge that Alexis did indeed look beautiful, it was the woman standing beside her - his lifelong best friend - that his eyes automatically went to. Samantha looked incredibly beautiful, and he had to wonder at himself yet again how she had come to be his friend when she was as stunning as she was.

  Pushing unwelcome thoughts out of his head, he invited both women to join him so he could walk them out to the back door of the home, where Samantha was handed over to John, a close friend of the groom.

  Smiling proudly he quietly led Alexis down the aisle through the garden and silently smiled at Anthony as he moved her hand from his arm to that of her soon to be husband.

  The vows were read, followed by a lengthy and indulgent kiss from the groom to his bride. The groom led his bride for a dance under the makeshift gazebo they had all had fun in erecting that morning.

  Tom saw Samantha approach him and give him an eye
brows-up look and brilliant smile, making him melt, before he saw her move her head sideways as an indication to join her on the dance floor.

  Instantly he moved forward toward her, very happy to be able to hold her in his arms. It felt like a magical moment, until she revealed her sometimes bossy and boisterous self.

  "Hey! Stop hogging the dance floor," he heard her say as she nudged the bride and groom affectionately, making everyone laugh at her.

  He looked closely at her face. She had been his friend for as long as he could remember and had proved on so many occasions that she was completely trustworthy and loyal to him. He valued that friendship above everything. No matter what his heart told him to do. No matter what his heart told him things could be like. He would not threaten their friendship.

  He felt eyes on him and turned to see Alexis watching him with that same sad smile on her face. He was used to it now, and shrugged it off with a silly face, as he always did to make her laugh and not think about the subject he knew she was thinking of. It was something that he could not think about, even though so many people had asked him right through from their teenage years, why he did not make Samantha his girlfriend. As if anyone could make Samantha do anything. She was such a powerful person, Tom was fairly certain it would take a very definite kind of man to even be able to turn her head, let alone influence her in any way.

  After a while the photographer approached to lead Alexis and Anthony away for some photos, removing them from the crowd for an hour, but the few people that were at the wedding hardly noticed that they had left, before the bride and groom were back again, taking part in their ceremony celebration once more.

  They danced and eventually sang, but all through the evening was the sound of people laughing, and Tom could see how happy his new friends Alexis and Anthony were in each other's company. The sight made him happy but it also made him feel incredibly lonely. He knew he had choices - there had been times since his teenage years when he could have been in relationships, and he had made a conscious decision not to be. But at times like this, he felt a desperation inside of him … an itch that he so much wanted to scratch.